Spaceballs 2-In search for more money
by LadyLia
Summary: You ever seen spaceballs? Remember how they said they were going to make a second one for more money...well here it is...hehehehe R&R PLEASE!!!!!
1. In Search For More Money

Spaceballs 2- In Search For More Money  
  
  
(the story starts here...in yogurt's cave thingy in the desert. Making up more merchandising for his money fiasco)  
  
Yougert gets excited, "Mourchandizing, mourchandizing we need to do more mourchandizing. Lets see, there there is spaceballs the firecracker, spaceballs the baby whipes, spaceballs the disposable underwear, spaceballs the toilet, spaceballs the sink, spaceballs the office cubicle...."  
  
The Dink Dinks sing, "Dink Dink Dink Dink Dink Dink Dink Dink"  
  
(meanwhile off on Planet Druidia)  
  
  
Lonestar yells from the living room, "Honey where is the transporter remote?"  
  
Princess Vespa yells back into the the living room from her massage table, "On the table where you left it, where are you going anyway?"  
  
Lonestar walks in saying, " Because I need to get to the front of the palace the royal caravan to stop by Barfs for a bit."  
  
The Princess exclaims, "Honey! That's the third time today you have visited him, can't we have some alone time? I mean gosh we have only been married for a week for gosh sake.   
  
Lonestar says, "Yes dear I know, and we will have alone time, but he and I haven't been apart since we were babies and now this week has been so wierd not being able to talk to him that much"  
  
"YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ALL OF THIS WEEK! WE HAVEN'T HAD ANY TIME ALONE!" Vespa screams.  
  
Nonetheless Lonestar goes on his merry way to visit Barf in the winabego that was handed down to him. Lonestar walks in, barf sees him and comes up running up to him hugging him as tight as can be making it so Lonestar can barely breathe.  
  
"Oh Lonestar I missed you so much in the past hour!" Barf chanted.  
  
"As I missed you Barf, As I missed you!"  
  
They both held eachother like this for about a 2 minute time until someone called on the video phone making them jump apart. Lonestar goes over to the video phone and flips the switch as a giant ape starts to talk...  
  
"Lonestar you have to save us, we heard about how you saved princess vespa from the evil spaceballs, and how you got her pretty laid too infact, but we need you to help us with them. Ever since their ship blew up and they landed on our planet, they have been ordering us all what to do."  
  
"Oooh no I am not dealing with that bastard and all of his ass hole firing squads again! Not even for a million this time," Lonestar exclaims.  
  
"But you have to, he has stolen our Queen Isabella," He holds up a picture, "She looks like this"  
  
"Wow not much of a looker is she?" barf says softy.  
  
"What did you say?" The monkey asked.  
  
"Oh Nothing," said barf.   
  
"Fine, fine we'll do it, where was she last seen?" Lonestar adresses to the Ape.  
  
The ape Replies, "She was last seen as they were taking her away in their huge back up space ship Spaceballs 2 that had come for them. Aparently they had been headed for Planet Bob"  
  
Barf and Lonestar look confused, "Where's that?"  
  
"Somewhere north of our planet...way over my head!"  
  
"Ok thanks," Lonestar says as he clicks off on the phone, "Ok first we need to go to the gas mart to get a new map..this one is from the turn of the century I swear I mean when was plannet bob formed? the 31st century?"  
  
Barf picks up a Titan AE dvd, "That's what the back of this says"  
  
Lonestar looking stunned says, "Oh...ok. Well let's go"  
  
  
  



	2. Save The Last Ape Queen

Chapter 2- Save The Last Ape-Queen  
  
(They come approaching the spaceball2 spacecraft landed on the ground as Lonestar wonders what we are going to do to get around it.)  
  
"Maybe we can jam it like we did the last time boss?" Said Barf eagerly.  
  
"Nah then they will know for sure it was us. We are going to have to take a different approach on it this time," Lonestar explained.  
  
"Like what?" Barf became confused yet again.  
  
"We are going to trash it!"   
  
Barf becomes very excited at this point, "Ohhh yay! May I do the honors?"  
  
"Go right ahead," Lonestar answered.  
  
"Yes Sir, this radar is trashed for good," Barf says as he fires a huge trashcan full of baby poop and bananna peels toward the radar satellite.  
  
They land on the other side of the ship and walk into the ship the back way in the emergency exit. The whole place can't hear the alarm go off because the air is so limited that the sound currently out of order within the whole ship to conserve oxygen. They walk in with their pants on their heads and their shirts attached like pants so maybe they would be considered part of the traveling circus crew. Getting into the imprisoned area they find queen latifa, Oprah, Ricky Lake, and Jenny Jones all in one room. Barf opens the door asking why they are there.  
  
Jenny Jones wrote on a piece of paper, "They imprisoned us and took our voices away by putting us into this silenced ship because they think we talk too much! Please help us!"  
  
Barf Shakes his head and leaves. Lonestar shows him where the Queen is, and they both walk in to get her. She is described as the ugliest, hairiest thing that ever walked the galexy. From the look on his face, Barf looks as if she's the most beautiful creature he's ever seen. She looks back at him the same way.  
  
  
(Meanwhile...back in the desert)  
  
"dink dink dink dink..."  
  
"...and spaceballs the crayon box, spaceballs the 3 story house, spaceballs the spaceballs, spaceballs the tank engine, spaceballs the time traveler , spaceballs the Mark Mcguire..."  
  
(Anyway back in the spaceballs 2 station)   
  
Someone turns the sound on, aparently they have conserved enough oxygen in order to speak again. A spaceball dressed in blue because black and white are such boring colors comes running out after the brave men er and dog  
"Hey I'm a mog!" Oooh that's right Mog and they yell "Wait a minute you aren't supposed to be here!"  
  
Running after them and shooting, the spaceballs start to catch up to Lonestar, Barf, and the Ape Queen. Then suddenly the Queen Isabella yells, "You both climb on my back!"  
  
Lonestar and Barf looked at eachother confused.  
  
"Oh just do it!" she added.  
  
They did as they were told. Queen Isabella with two full grown males on her back runs as fast as she can, jumps up to the ceiling and out a trap door that leads her into a tunnel that seems to never end. Finally she lands out the cargo pit and eventually to another back door.  
  
"FINALLY" Lonestar sighed, as they galloped into the winabego.  
  
Soon enough they were taking off and heading back to plannet of the apes to drop off the queen.  
  
"About time I got out of there," The Queen said.  
  
"I have a question for you your magesty," Lonestar announced, "How could they capture such a strong female such as yourself?"  
  
"Well they are brainwashing all of the apes one by one on the planet of apes to take control and go against me....my own forces are fighting against me, and I only have a few left on my side, or at least I did when I left"  
  
"You are so gorgeous. You are so beautiful my queen" Barf said as he kissed her feet.  
  
Lonestar rolled his eyes as he added, "Do you have any idea how this started?"  
  
Barf repeated "You are so beautiful...so gorgeous my queen"  
  
"SHUT UP BARF" Lonestar yelled.   
  
Barf was disgusted with the way Lonestar was acting and went to the other room to eat some dog food and listen to his 1980's 8 tracks.  
  
"Not exactly, but it started somewhere around the time that spaceball 1 was blown up by you actually and the second one came into play. The first one turned into some giant lady or something, but the spaceball 2 from my observance doesn't transform at all," She said answering Lonestar's question.  
  
"Hmm there must be something else on there, some special feature, and until we find it, and destroy it, your planet is doomed to wilt and wollow with enemies of you," Lonestar explained.  
  
"You think you can really help me, you can really solve my problem?" she asked.  
  
"Yes but you can't stay at your home, you will be eaten alive there, you must go home to my wife and hide out with her. That will be the best place for you." Lonestar suggested.  
  
"Oh but of course thank you," she said graciously.  
  
(Meanwhile back in Druidia)  
  
"Gosh it takes him and barf a long time to just say Hi," Vespa Thinks to herself. 


	3. The Mass of Incandescent Gas

Chapter 3 - The Mass Of Incandescent Gas  
  
"Hey Honey I'm home!" Lonestar yells as He, Barf and the Queen enter the palace.  
  
Princess Vespa walks in the room happily "Oh honey I'm so glad you're.. brought some friends didn't you?"  
  
"Yes actually Barf and I are on another mission. The planet of the apes is being taken over by those despicable Spaceballs, and Queen Isabella here is in danger! Can she stay here with you?"  
  
"Of course she can!" she whispers in Lonestar's ear, "She's not dangerous is she?"  
  
"OF COURSE NOT! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!" Barf yells overhearing even though he was supposed to have that little crush on Dot Matrix from the first movie!  
  
"I am not! She's a robot.there would be no way we could.well never mind."  
  
Ok, ok fine! Anyway back to the story.  
  
So Barf and Lonestar headed off on their mission.  
  
"Ok Barf lets set a course for Planet Bob!"  
  
"Planet Bob? Why Planet Bob?" Barf asks.  
  
Lonestar hits Barf upside his head, "You idiot! That's where they were headed, remember?!"  
  
"Oh ya!" He remembers.  
  
So they head off towards Planet Bob, passing Planet Corey, Planet Jason, Planet Paul, Planet Meghan, and even Planet Angie.  
  
"What planet did we just past barf??"  
  
"Umm Planet George. Or maybe it was Planet Sam?" Barf replies nervously.  
  
"No, that was nearly ten planets back there." Lonestar points behind him. "Don't tell me we are lost!"  
  
"Ok I won't!"  
  
All of a sudden they see a bright light ahead of them shining right into the windshield blinding Lonestar and Barf. This couldn't be Planet Bob could it? No it wasn't. They noticed what they were flying into when their beer cup holders, hats, and most importantly Barf's '80s 8-tracks in the back were starting to melt.  
  
"NOT MY 8-TRACKS!!!!" Barf yells as he jumps out of his seat without getting his seatbelt off just to land right back on his ass in the seat again.  
  
"Now that's REALLY gonna leave a mark!" Lonestar chuckles.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Lonestar realizes that they are still running in to what appears to be..  
  
"THE SUN!!" they both yell as they make space tracks and head the opposite way just in the knick of time.  
  
"Oh that was close. If we were to go any further we would have become a mass of incandescent gas!" Barf says in relief.  
  
"A gigantic nuclear furnace?" Lonestar asks Barf.  
  
"Ya! Where Hydrogen is built into Helium."  
  
"At a temperature of millions of degrees" Lonestar and Barf start singing.  
  
Both go on singing the They Might Be Giants song until about the middle of the second verse on account that they ran out of gas.again.  
  
"Oh no boss the sun must have burned up all of our gas!"  
  
"I knew we should have gotten another can of liquid Schwartz!" Lonestar cries panicking. "We can crash on this lovely planet. And hopefully not die!"  
  
"Anything is better than that awful desert we were in last time." Barf exclaimed.  
  
They crashed on what appeared to be a rather large deserted island.or so they thought. 


	4. The "Deserted" Island

Chapter 4- The "Deserted" Island  
  
Walking off the ship they were greeted by the natives.  
  
"Welcome to my Island!" says a scrawny old man with a white hat and a wrinkled ugly red shirt on.  
  
"Umm hi.what makes you think it's your Island?" Lonestar replies.  
  
"Why the theme song." He points out to the water as the Gilligan's Island theme starts to play.  
  
Lonestar and Barf bob their heads like idiots actually liking the song.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be younger? Why are you so wrinkly?" Barf says questionably.  
  
"Well I can't stay young forever you know I mean we were only broadcasted outside Nick at Night during the 50's and 60's!" Gilligan replied, "Besides, I'm the best looking one around here left. You should see Ginger, and Maryanne, and the Skipper, and."  
  
"We get the idea. Are you the only people on this island?" Lonestar rudely interrupted.  
  
"There hadn't been for a long time but just recently some strange people have been showing up.on the other side of the Island. I won't go near them. They scare me too much."  
  
"So you wouldn't be able to guide us to where they are then?"  
  
"Nope sorry I need some sleep to catch up on! Aloha"  
  
They say bye to the strange old man and search for the others dwelling on this Island. Searching for hours at a time through the forest and on the other side, they couldn't find anyone. Ran into Ginger and Maryanne. "You bet we did.I liked them better in the 50's!"  
  
"BARF QUIT INTERRUPTING THE NARRATOR! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME!"  
  
It's ok really.  
  
"No it isn't I apologize for my hairy friend over there."  
  
Apology accepted. Anyway. As I was saying, Nightfall came quick, and that's when they finally found a group of people sitting around a campfire, discussing something. They walked up to the group hoping they could find out some information on how to fix their ship.  
  
Barf, being the rude idiot he is goes up to them and yells "Hey guys! Whacha doin?"  
  
Everyone sitting around the campfire jumps and screams as if they had seen a ghost.  
  
"IT'S A TALKING DOG! RUN EVERYONE!" Some lady yelled.  
  
"IT'S A SURVIVOR SHOW RUN BARF!" Lonestar screamed.  
  
Lonestar and Barf ran all the way back to the ship to find a message on the dashboard.  
  
Dinkdink,  
  
Dink dink dink! Dink dink dink dink dink! Dink dink dink dink, dink dink dink dinkdinkdink. DINK DINK DINK!  
  
Dink dinkdink dinkdink!  
  
Dink dinks  
  
"Hey! The Dink Dinks came by!!! How cool!" Barf excitedly tells Lonestar.  
  
"Well, what does it say???"  
  
Barf holds it up, then holds it sideways, then holds it upside-down trying to figure out what it says, "I don't know!"  
  
"Oh great now what are we going to do"  
  
The professor approaches the two overhearing everything they said, "I have a translation machine I invented here you want to translate it?"  
  
"Sure!" They both agreed.  
  
They walked to his grass hut to try it out on the translation machine of the professors only to find out that it didn't work.  
  
"I'm sorry guys the translation machine doesn't know Dink." He says just as Maryanne walks in the hut.  
  
"Let me take a look at that letter boys maybe I can read it! After all I used to be with a Dink!"  
  
"That's just plain wrong," Lonestar added under his breath.  
  
"Uh huh" Barf and the Professor agree.  
  
"Here we go," Maryanne says, about to read the letter, "Lonestar, we took the liberty in providing you a supposed lifetime supply of liquid Schwartz! Use it up quickly because they expire by New Years."  
  
"UGH" Lonestar and Barf grunt.  
  
"I know I know, but we can't afford to create anymore! Yogurt and his 'Mourchandising' are driving us crazy. Sorry for the trouble. See you soon! (Hopefully so you can save us from this crazy old man)  
  
Adios,  
  
The Dinks."  
  
Just barely letting Maryanne finish reading the letter, Barf and Lonestar hop in the Winnebago and take off. 


End file.
